Its not that i've been busy...

I just haven't had much to say in a blog recently.

I've had great weather here in London, i did get a little burnt, nothing to bad just pink skin. And have spent my afternoons in the garden helping my sister with some much needed gardening, weeding and all that.

Like i said, nothing to write home about. 

Sorry folks.....

But nothing has been happening the last few days.

I've sent off some more job applications and today i helped my sister do some gardening, removed an old rusted wire fence and i've drunk some beer.

All in all a more active day then usual, not including my Gym sessions.

So have a picture;

And one more;

Interwebs People

I watch you, i listen to you.

And drink Beer doing it;
I make videos and write comments;
And sometimes i do it sitting in the garden drinking that frosty beer;

Heres to you, the peeps of the interwebs.

Maybe time to talk a little about the Book...

About a year ago i decided that i wanted to write a book, a Novel or Novella or what ever it turns into. I love reading Robert Ludlum's spy thrillers, most popular are the Bourne series.

It might be interesting to note that the first Bourne Book, 'The Bourne Identity' was published in 1980, and Jason bourne (David Webb) was in his late 30's, the second book was published in the mid 80's and the last Ludlum written Bourne book, The Bourne Ultimatum' was published in 1990, where Bourne was getting old pushing in his late 40's, Mary is still alive, unlike the movie versions, and he has 2 children a boy and a girl. I love reading the complexity of this character, his past and present, how David Webb became Jason Bourne, and Why he became Jason Bourne.

Anyway, because i loved reading Spy Thrillers i decided that thats what i wanted to write. But i also had my sights on writing a Star Trek fan book, as i'm a die hard Trekkie. So i thought, why not combine them both and write a Star Trek Spy Thriller, its not like their aren't spies in the Star Trek universe, Section 31 for one.

I figured that i couldn't use existing characters, or characters that came and went, i wouldn't a whole new batch. So i sat to work creating a plot line, this would lead me to a basic set of characters. It was refined over time, as characters came and went. 

I wrote a Prologue, hoping that i would get the creative juices flowing, it did, but in the wrong direction i thought, so i re-thought everything, and came up with a time line. I used Star Treks past events, the Dominion War, and thats where my main characters history lies. Then created a present and a situation to solve. Which lead to the story becoming more complex, i had to write everything down as it was becoming far to complex to remember, good guys bad guys is just to easy.

I had to create obstacles, some simple some harder to elude, but i eventually got what i needed to start, knowing full well that things will most likely change a little along the way.

I call the first book, yes, the FIRST book, 'The Orion Directive' and the series 'A Murder of Crows' Crows because my main character is called Simon Crow (Aka Adam Webb) He fought front line infantry in the Dominion War, a ground troop who would face Jem'Hadar soldiers face to bloody face.

I haven't set out the next two book yet but i know what need to happen in them. The Third book, i think will be epic, but then thats just me talking.

I would love to finish these books off, and have all three published, knowing that thats not real realistic, but i can post them as PDF's on many Star Trek forums as Star Trek Fan Fiction, good knows theres enough of it out there.

~ Stacey ~

Comment from yesterdays VLog [VLG Day 153]

So here you go girl [VLG Day 154] Its all about Stacey.

How i met her, how much i loved her, and how i screwed it all up.

My Channels;
http://www.youtube.com/FiskyJay
http://www.youtube.com/GrifterSixOne
http://www.youtube.com/FiskFilmLtd

And follow me here;
https://twitter.com/#!/FiskyJay

For Jenzatron, Rab & Kelleoh. [VLG Day 153]

Another really long VLog by me :D

Those named in the video, with Timecodes.

Skip forwards to the times below to hear the part you would like, unless of course you want to list to all 27 minutes of me, which i'm sure you don't.

Jenzatron - About my time in the Prison Service.
From 2:04 to 11:58
http://www.youtube.com/user/jenzatron

Rab - About what Youtube means to me.
From 11:58 to 20:44
http://www.youtube.com/user/rablennox

Kelleoh - About London in the Autumn (Fall)
From 20:54 to 27:13
http://www.youtube.com/user/kelleohhh


Damn, i forget to talk about yesterdays Gym session. DANGIT.




My Channels;
http://www.youtube.com/FiskyJay
http://www.youtube.com/GrifterSixOne
http://www.youtube.com/FiskFilmLtd

And follow me here;
https://twitter.com/#!/FiskyJay

I have less then nothing...

I just checked my bank account because i have no money on me right now, well, i have tons of shrapnel but nothing larger then 20p, all i wanted to do was by some honey from Tesco because i'm trying to cut processed sugar from my diet and lots of people are saying that i should use honey in my tea. So before i went to Tesco i decided to check my account status, to see how much money is in there, i don't want to take out to much after all, i'm unemployed and don't get that much from my Job Seekers Allowance, about £130 every 2 weeks.

And now that i've paid my mobile phone bill and my landline rental and internet bill, i have -30 some odd pounds. Yep minus 30 some odd pounds, i'm in the red.

So when my JSA money comes in on Monday, i'll loose 30 some odd pounds immediately. 

So right now i have less then nothing. Nothing would be Zero '0' but i have minus 30+ pounds, i owe the bank.

Great fucking wankers batman i'm so fucked right now, i can't even by Honey. And i'm not getting any responses to my job applications. Times are getting desperate. Its little wonder so many people on the 'Dole' turn to crime. I might have a few months left at this rate before my mobile phone and internet/landline are cut off, which means i have no contact details except Royal Mail.

7 minutes of boredom [VLG Day 152]

Todays Vlog

Index;

Boring - 0:00 to 7:00.

Gym - 7:27 to 9:06.

Comments - 9:15 to 21:46

The reason for this vlog being this way was detailed in my last Blog some people are dicks, whacha gonna do.

Interesting Comments......?

I received three comment eMails today, the first was on this VLog;

"This gym stuff is very boring. Your body building is for you! You get very few views here and at VH, with few comments. Try another approach!"

To which i replied;

"I don't do Gym vlogs for anyone but me, as a kind of record. If you think its boring then don't watch, see easy."

Something that you notice if you've been on the internet for a long time, is that people will watch videos that they don't like and or think are boring, then complain about it. If its boring don't watch it. Easy.

The other comments were on this VLog;

"Yep it has cooled down for sure! These vlogs of yours are a bit boring, you seem bored doing them! So stop for now! Your exercise regime isn't very interesting also.

What is your expertise and what job do you want to do?"

My reply;

"My exercise regime is for me, weather you or anyone else likes it is no concern of mine, Do't like, Don't watch, skip ahead. You are very repetitive you know that, its kind of annoying. Daily Vlogging is like lifecasting, in fact, it is lifecasting, the good the bad and the boring, why should i edit that. This is my life, as boring as it is, if you don't think its worth watching, then stop watching it."

And

"You get very few views at VH and comments! My advice, drop the gym stuff and post creative vids, like your walk about! You are out of work, what work do you want to do? What are your talents?"

My reply;

"I already commented on the gym stuff. The creative videos aren't that easy when there are people living here that don't care about me making them. I wouldn't consider a walk about as creative, its just a vlog out doors, sometimes i just wonna vlog somewhere that isn't in my chair."

All the comments of the above comment came from the same person, can you see how repetitive he is. In all three comment he's telling me that my vlogs are boring and that the Gym stuff isn't interesting. Again i say. Then Don't Watch.

Why do people watch stuff they don't like, i'm sure he most likely sees it like he's giving me advise. I say, you try making VLogs every day and keep them interesting. The point of a Daily VLog is to document your life. kinda like Lifecasting. I'm broadcasting my life, the good the bad and the boring. Everything goes in unedited, sometimes my life is boring, i can't help that, i can't spend money to do things that might make them more interesting to watch, i need to save money, by not spending any, if i can help it.

Lets see my VLogs from a different point of view. Lets say that 'My Hopeful Future' works out and in 2 years i'm a Youtube success, making creative videos every few weeks, and earning enough in revenue to support my life style (I can live below my means) and the making of more videos. These VLogs are going to show the rise of that success, the day to day of my life, Boring as it might be sometimes, it'll show how i got there, and where i was before.

Todays i shot a 22 minutes VLog, and in the description i've written this;

Index;

Boring - 0:00 to 7:00

Gym - 7:27 to 9:06

Comments - 9:15 to 21:46

As a key for those, the guy who wrote those comment, to skip ahead. I won't be doing it again, i just wanted to see if he watched this VLog. So the Boring section is me sitting for a little over a minute then i go make a cuppa, living the camera running in an empty room for 4 minutes, then on my return i sit quietly until the 7th minute. The the Gym section, i talk about tonights Gym session, and in the comments portion i reply to those comments above. Angrily if i felt it necessary, and with understanding if needed, but mostly saying "If you don't like it, don't watch it" it did kinda turn into a rant. I like ranting.

Ultimately i don't really care, i make these VLogs for me, if i made them to get popular i'd of stopped a long time ago, but then i don't really put the work in to get popular, like sending out random messages to other VLoggers saying things like "Check out my VLogs, and if you like them rate comment and subscribe". I hate getting those messages, i sometimes check out the channel but most of the i just delete the message. So doing something that i hate isn't really something i want to do for the VLogs. The FISK FILM channel i kind of pimp as much as i can without pissing people of, the more i like the video, the more i pimp it, like this;

Ha ha, please watch, if you do like it, please comment on it, if you think that i could have done something different, please comment, if you didn't like it, please, comment and tell me why. I'm not to bothered about Ratings, but i really do want feedback on the videos on that channel. It would help me make better videos in the future. I have 8 videos on this channel so far, please watch them and comment, i really want the feedback.

WFT - IT Skills

Tomorrow at 10am i have to go to Barnet College in Colindale for this ITQ thing.

A journey during rush hour on the London underground to attend a IT course i have no details about. 

Because i'm claiming Job Seekers Allowance i can do this course for free, and at the end i get a piece of paper that says i can use a PC (Incidentally i'm a Mac user) but i have no details as to.

• How long i'll spend each day there
• How many days a week i'll have to attend
• How many weeks i'll have to attend. Or months.

On top of this i still have to look for work, and it seems like, it me anyway, that it'll be a waste of my time, i mean the shit on the course is all about using MS Word, Excel and Powerpoint, Which i already now how to use. they're not exactly rocket science. I might hate using them and PC's in general but i know how to.

I'd rather spend that time looking for work, which i still have to do by the way on top of the course.

I just hate commuting for shit like this with absolutely no details about what i'm going to be doing.

When i worked at Burberry, the managers there would do the same thing, they'd ask us to do over time, to commit to a long ass shift, usually 7am to 12mid-night but they wouldn't tell us why "You'll get overtime" as if that answered our questions. Why do managers do that anyway, its like thats all i care about, the money. I hate managers.

Anyway, Should i spend tim eon the London underground for something i know nothing about for a piece of paper that doesn't really matter?

------------------------------------------------------------------

This wasn't todays scheduled blog, i'm just not in the mood to write about the only woman i ever felt could have been "The One" then fucked up and lost her. I just don't have it in me.

Sleep Oddness...

I guess i've always had sleep oddities. If i push my memory back far enough i'll find some weird memory based on a dream, but like all dreams the more you try to remember them the harder it is to gain any details that might help you to reconstruct the dream in such a way that you could actually articulate to other people in some meaningful way. So i'm not going to try that hard, mostly because over the years i've been thinking about it and little by little the dreams stick in my mind. Thinking about the details you can remember instead those you can't does help. Start with something you can remember and hold on to that, don't try to extend the memory or you'll start to loose it. Hold on to what you have, and try to gather up as much detail as you can about that memory, the rest may or may not come, but at least you'll have something.

In 2004 i was made redundant from a job i had been working for 7 years. New managers, old ideas, and i get the blame if they didn't work out, go figure. This is also were i discovered the 'Managers' dialogue like "If you don't like it, leave" from that point on there was no middle ground with the managers, no negotiation, no compromise. You did what they said, when they said how they said or you can't leave (Quit). Yes, 2004 was the year i discovered that Mangers couldn't really give a fuck about you unless you were on your knee licking the shit off their boots or from between their arse cheeks.

Listening to 'White Limo' - Foo Fighters, Wasting LIght

Not sure why i brought that up it has nothing to do with my sleep. But anyway, I'm sure that the new managers didn't like me, i pretty much questioned everything they asked me to do, mostly because they asked me to do things that were already tried and tested and failed. And when i said that i was told that i'm not a team player and need to change my ways "SUCK IT". i was offered a redundancy packets that was twice the norm with a £500 bonus if i took it straight away, with a "If you don't take it now, we'll have to choose later and you won't get the £500 then" it was obvious to me that they just wanted me gone. 6 weeks before i was asked if i wanted the post room job back, i was working in facilities at the time, the post room was were i had been for the first 6 and a half years, they moved me to facilities, and were now asking me if i wanted to go back. Of course i said Yes, then she replied "But i'm not sure you can do it". Like i said i'd been doing that job for 6 and a half years, the last 6 months on my own because the guy i worked with had a heart attack. Two weeks later they offer it again, again i say yes, again she said "But i'm not sure you can do it" i sighed and go back to work, i said to my supervisor that if they don't think i can do it then why does she keep fucking asking. Two weeks later, i'm asked again, again i say yes, again she says "But i'm not sure you can do it" finally i say, then why do you keep asking me, i get no answer, just a "I'll think about it". Two weeks later i'm in Human Resources getting offered a redundancy package. I took it. 6 months pay plus £500 sweetener. 

I found out later, and this is way i think that they just wanted me gone, that they hired two people for the Post Room job, they couldn't of done that if they gave it to me and then made me redundant, they stalled then got rid of me, and hired two other guys with no post room experience to do it, they were also paying more per year for those guys, most likely 8 to 10 thousand more a year. I was getting 16,000 a year, so unless they were paid 8k each they spent more money. They's rather spend more on wages for those guys then keep me. When a manager spend more money for two less experienced guy to do a job i can do, better and faster you know they don't want you around.

I spend the time between June 2004 and July 2005 unemployed, living off my redundancy money. In that time i developed my Insomnia, i stayed awake for 4 days once, i tried to sleep every night and sometimes it became so frustrating that i thought about knocking myself out. This is when i first realised that i had insomnia i can't ever remember having it before this time, maybe it was during that time when i was looking for work but couldn't find it. Insomnia the inability to enjoy uninterrupted sleep. I get this quite often now a days. But an even weirder sleep disorder has appeared. Sleep Paralysis.

To be more actuate 'Hypnopompic Paralysis' I wake up but am unable for a few minutes to move or even open my eyes. I'm stuck.

When we enter REM sleep the release of certain neurotransmitters, the monoamines (Norepinephrine, serotonin and histamine) are completely shut down. This causes REM atonia, a state in which the motor neurons are not stimulated and the body's muscles do not move. Some doctors say it to prevent us from enacting our dreams, of course in some cases this doesn't work and we hear stories of people beating their partners in bed or sleep walking. We are basically paralysed while we are in REM sleep. Hypnopompic is what happens when you come out of REM sleep, your brain wakes up, but your body is still in this phase, it hasn't realised that your waking up and remains in a paralysed state. This can bring on certain feelings.

You can feel a sense of dread and or intense fear. Your trapped and you can't move, your eyes are shut and you can't see. Its a primeval feeling of being trapped, you need to escape but you can't and the feeling gets worse.

I first had, or remember at least, having this while working at Burberry, i used to spend my lunch break, at 1am because i worked the night shift, asleep, i'd go to the first floor where there was a large couch and i'd sleep on my back with my arms cross over my chest and i'd set my phone alarm to go off in 55 minutes. Then i had what i thought was a very odd dream, i can't move, i know i'm at work on the couch, i can feel my arms over my chest but i can't more, the panic settled in and that when i heard it, i heard a woman whisper my name "Jason" her voice was low and completely non threatening, kind of soothing, thats when i woke up. Could it of been my brain sending me an auditory cue to wake up?

I thought it was just a dream, a weird dream but a dream non the less. A few weeks later i had a similar experience but this time the voice was of Charles, the guy i worked with, he said "Their coming, quick their coming" and again i woke up soon after, the voice was perfectly his, but again whispered. I started having these "dreams" a lot while i worked at Burberry, i never had them at home only at work, no matter where i slept i had this "dream".

The last auditory hallucination i remember having was on the 14th of March;

I haven't had this "Dream" since then. A comment on this video, posted on Vloggerheads, said that i might have Sleep Paralysis. So i decided to look it up and it all seems to fit, i'm not usually the type of person to self diagnose but the courses and symptoms all fit. A friend said "You don't have anything officially until a doctor diagnoses you with it" yeah bullshit, does that mean as long as i never see another doctor i'll never have cancer (I don't have cancer just an example) its not really the type of thing that i'd bother a doctor with. It doesn't hurt, no bones are broken and blood isn't gushing so i could really care less about going to a doctor to have it officially diagnosed. It just isn't worth it really.

I have a name for it now, 'Hypnopompic Sleep Paralysis' i know its not a weird dream but just a miss calculation between mind and body. I know that the voices are simply an auditory hallucination and that i'll be fine in a few minutes. I'm actually waiting for it to happen again so i can test out weather i can go through it without trying to move, to simply let it happen, well the voice say something again. But then all the voice said the last time was "Good" again a low soft whisper, she sounds kinda nice actually.

More oddness for you to enjoy, this was meant to be 1 minutes long.

The hopeful Future...

I kinda guess the title says it all, this is where i want to be within the next few years.

Listening to All my life - Foo Fighters

I have this ambition to do what i want for a living, to earn money doing something i enjoy doing, working to my own dead lines at my own pace where and when i want to do it. That would be film making, weather it be for Festivals, Cinemas, Television or simply Youtube, its something i enjoy doing and could spend days at a time with no breaks, except to maybe sleep.

The current status of my working career is security, a thankless hateful job that i couldn't hate more if i were chained to the spot to stop me from leaving. Career's are such a twentieth century concept anyway, why should we be tired to one thing the rest of our lives, should we simply just DO what makes us happy in life, whatever that may be at what ever time of your life you are living in right now.

We'd all like a job that pays well for doing less work, right? but i can spend 24 hours editing with no breaks, i'll eat and drink at my computer while i'm editing, Why? because i love doing it. If i was getting paid to do this i'd be very fucking happy, trust me. So my goals for the next few years are all about doing what will make me happy in the long run, not the short term, but into my future, my hopeful future.

First is to get a job, and seeing as Security is the only real thing i'm qualified or experienced (Real on the job experience) to do Security it is, i hate it, and if you read THIS blog post you'd already know that. I hate it with a passion, but money is money and i need some so, shut the fuck up and just do it already.

Second is to pay off my credit card, which incidentally is another blog coming up soon, they are nothing buy leaches that want your money weather you have a job or not, they are fucking Evil organisations that would take blood in loo of money. NEVER NEVER NEVER get a credit card, EVER.

After i've done the first two i can start working on the third, which is to get my own place,

Sorry i had to do some recycling and take out the bins.

My own place would mean i can shoot what i want when i want to, yayy for me, maybe not for my neighbours but yayy for me. Weather it be 3am or 3pm i could shoot what i like. Ideally it would be nice to have a few extra pairs of hands, i am a lone wolf here after all and having someone else handle the camera would mean better camera work. And i'd the neighbours to get used to seeing me with a camera, the more they see me with a camera the quicker they'll start ignoring me, meaning they want stand and stare at the camera. Which is annoying. But then equally annoying is someone walking up to you while your filming and saying "Are you filming something" as if the camera wasn't enough of a clue. But we move past that sort of thing and get on with it. Third, get my own place.

Forth would be technical stuff, a new camera, a Canon 60D, because its a decent camera with good image quality, sure its like £800 but its worth it, it shoots in 24fps progressive scan, which is awesome, no more interlaced bullshit. I'd rather have the 5D MkII but its like £1500 and thats just a little to much, i need to have a good camera but one thats not to much of a dent on the pocket, the 60D is great.

Then i'll need a new iMac, the one i have, the one i'm writing this blog on is 5 years old already and is starting to slow down (If your a PC nut, i'm not interested in your opinion of Mac Vs PC. Which again is another blog all together) A new Mac will speed up things to a level i like, then Final Cut Studio X (Not sure where we are on that at the mo, 4 i think) a legit version not a free download from Warez or Rapidshare, also, i use After Effects as well so having the latest Creative Suit AE would be awesome, and i think that would be enough to do what i want.

Then i'll try to get one short film out every two weeks or so, weather it be my Ninja series;

Thats part two, more involved then part one, as part one was only a test, enjoy.

I'd like Ninja #X to become a series, but with each new episode comes one more Ninja, part three will have 3 Ninja's part four will have 4 and so on until i can no longer do it because it got ridicules. But i do have an idea for an epic battle with thousands of Ninjas.

So, once all the above has happened and i'm producing two skits/films a month, and my Youtube Channel FiskFilmLtd has a good viewership and subscribers i'll try for Youtube Partnership, then i can earn revenue on my shorts, and use that money to 1, make better Skits/films and 2, pay the bills. OF course that is assuming i have enough subscribers and views per video.

So, when all this is happening, i'd like to gain a little respect within the British film community, they are however snobish bastards who think that in order to be a "Film Maker" you need to of had a film in a cinema. Well, i have, in January 2010 i had this;

This was screened in a small theatre in Covent Garden for the Branchage Film Surgery. I was fucking awesome, i was so nervous, the call sheet said i was third, but one guy could make it so i was second, then i was first, i almost crapped my pants but just did it and explained that it was all a bit of fun, people liked it which was great because, like i said i was crapping my pants, then we had beers after, cool.

So technically i have had a film screened in a cinema, so that make me, by there terms a film maker, but then i've always seen it as, if you make films, your a film makers. But some twats are so snobby about it because they wen tot film school, they can't stand that some kid sitting in his bedroom can produce anything worth watching. But then i think those types are rare, a good film is a good film right?

After i've gain a level of success on Youtube, i'd like help Youtuber's who want to make films but don't have the tech to do it, i'd effectively be a producer for their films. I'd help them make the film, then i'd advertise it on my channel, they'd upload to their channel, awesome.

So, in two years i'd like Fisk Film to be something other then a name i my head. I'll work a hateful job knowing that in a few years i'll be working for myself, doing what i love doing. Making Films.

Sun, Beer, Music. What more could you need on a Sunday?

I ask you, what more do i need right now?

Good company would be nice.

Sorry about yesterday...

I was going to write the next part of "I hate Security" but i was in a weird mood and just didn't want to do anything, i did actually get my vlog done until 10:30'ish last night.

The next part is called 'The hopeful Future' and will basically be about what i want to achieve in the next few years. I may get that done today or tomorrow.

I hate those days where i'm so bored i can't be bothered to do anything, i'd like to go out but have no where to go. I need a Dog. Either a Wolf Dog or a Rhodesian Ridgeback, i even have a name chosen already "Kujo". Not because i want a dog with Rebies but because its not a name you hear very ofter and i just like the sound of it.

I hate Security...

Yes, yes i do, not the type that keeps you safe at home while you sleep or the type that alerts the Police is someone is trying to steal from you or your place of work. But the type where i stand on a door to an office building for an hour, before i go to a car park or reception, simply to be a visual deterrent to possible break ins or "Walk ins" (Where someone tries to gain unlawful entry with the intent to disrupt or steal) these jobs are long and super boring, you'd usually work a 12 hour shift maybe starting at 7am and finishing at 7pm or starting at 7pm and finishing at 7am, the dreaded night shift. SO let me tell you about my experience working in the Security Industry.

It all starts with my stent with the Prison Service, yes i was a "Prison Guard" for a year, i was unemployed and a post it note came my way with a phone number on it. I was told to call it, i did, and was told that i didn't need any qualification i just needed to complete a 6 week training course. Coolio sign me up, hey a jobs job right?

I completed the 6 weeks with a 91% on my finish test, thats the highest grade i've ever had. We learned Legal frame work, Health and Safety, First Aid, Control and Restraint and other crap you'd need to baby sit a bunch of adults who think they are smarter then you. It was a fine job, good satisfaction levels, but once a week someone fucking idiot would try to attack one of the guards, i mean there were lots of us, and all your mates or in cells (Locked up) what exactly was your plan here, to beat a guard senseless then what? hope that the rest of us fear you and let you go, just like that? some people were born stupid. They always thought they were so smart yet there they were, locked up. Oh well could be worst, it could be raining (This is England) I was ten before i realised i could close an umbrella, of course i jest, the last few days have been WOW sun sun sun sun lots of awesome SUN (If you don't believe me watch my latest Vlogs from 6th April to 8th)

So where was i?

Oh yeah, so it was a dangerous job for sure but with 18 other guards backing you up i knew i'd get help in seconds.

One Weekend me and a friend went to see 'War of the Worlds' yes with Tom Cruise, after we did what we usually did back then, we got us some Burger King and sat there talking about stuff that mattered to us, usually Star Trek, but we did talk about work, and i asked him how much he earned, Ok i earned £15,271, yes per year, he wouldn't tell me, most likely thinking that people shouldn't talk about how much they earn because its not the done thing, Now i tend to agree, but other when it comes to the people you work with not a mate i'd known for 10 years (By that time) why do people get so pissy about telling people how much they earn. Anyway i finally convinced him to give me a ball park figure, he said £17,000 per year, which i knew was bullshit but i went with it, i thought he was picking a number that was under his pay but ever so slightly above mine. He gave me a phone number to the HR department of the company he worked for, i took it and later called it and sorted out an interview.

During this interview i brought up the fact that i'm currently a Prison Guard, i even showed her my Warrant Card, which has a nice 'Home Office' foil embossed logo on it, nice i was a sure win for this interview, she left me to fill out some forms and when she returned she asked me to pick a placement, she showed a list of sites, BBC, Channel 4 Tate Modern, all nice placements and each had like 4 or 5 jobs going, but she said that Linklaters would be the best one to go for, it only had 1 opening, she made a phone call to the Security Manager there and then asked me what i was doing later that day, was i going back to work, i said no i had the whole day off, then she asked if i could interview at Linklaters today, i said that i could. I had a 3 hour wait, so i decided to find the building first then look for something to do to waste the rest of the time.

I sat in the new but as yet unused Security Control Room, it looked like Ground Control, with 4 massive plasma screens, 3 displaying the CCTV (Closed Circuit TeleVision) security cameras and the 4th Sky News, the two main desks, one for the DSM (Duty Shift Manager) The person in charge of that shift, and one for the Controller, the dude who takes phone calls, operates the CCTV and other stuff i'm sure, each desk had 4 PC monitors 2 on each side, with a switchable keyboard to control either side, The interview went as well as could be, they even said i might be "over" qualified, they gave me some scenarios and asked what i'd do, i joked with them a little, to break the ice, show that i'm not some up tight twat, but someone who can have a laugh but when needs be can be serious and on the job with no fear for either up sitting and employee who was making unreasonable requests that put the security of the building at risk or to anyone who might try to gain entry.

I got the job, i was told a few days later, i gave my notice at the Prison Service and a few weeks later was doing my on the job training with Linklaters. The job was a rotating rota 4 on 4 off days and night, i did this for 8 months, i'd asked after 2 months if i could possible get a permanent shift either days or nights (I discovered later that i can't do a continuous night shift) My name was put on the list, so after 8 months i was offered a day shift, still 4 on 4 off, but days only, which was better then what i had, same money just days only, GOOD. I started this shift, it was a smaller building, part of Linklaters but if only 7 floors instead of 26 (Two buildings, 11 on one and 15 on the other) it was a good move, still 12 hour shifts but i got to work during the day every day, the guys i was working with were great, one i already knew, he taught me everything i know about Corp Security the other i never saw that much as he had the opposite shift, he worked during the 4 days i had off. Anyway, after about 6 months someone else left, now he had the 'Golden Shift' 7am till 5pm Monday to Friday. Great shift, because now i get all my weekends back, and work 50 hours instead of 48 which means more money, i'm not ashamed to say i was earning £24,000 a year.

But after 3 years i was getting bored, i'd have days when i didn't to talk to people, i just did my job and went home, Security is a real soul sucking job, If not for the guys i was working with and a few others, Michelle and Scarlett (Two women i adore, even to this day) if not for them i might have left sooner. I had become very bored of doing the same thing every day, sure the money was good and i liked the people i worked with but the day to day was starting to get to me, so i decided that i needed a change. So i handed in my notice, i gave 5 weeks, to give my managers time to find a replacement.

BIG MISTAKE!

Two weeks after i left the economy failed and i was screwed, timing could not have been worse.

I was unemployed for 5 months, i took the first job that came, it was Burberry the World Headquarters In Haymarket, They were moving to a new building, on Horseferry Road in the new year, i started in November of 2008 and in January on 2009 i was doing my night shift, every Friday Saturday and Sunday from 7am to 7pm, no bank holidays, and all this for £16,500 a year, yes thats £7,500 drop in pay, i was not amused, especially after finding out that i wasn't earning 'Unsociable pay' i don't know how it works everywhere else, but in Britain if yo work unsociable hour you get a little extra money as compensation. Yea i wasn't getting that.

But lets go back, a job interviews comes my way, be here, see this dude at this time for that job. The job listed was for a Loss Prevention Officer (Security Guard) thats all i was told. So i go there arriving a little early, as you do and i see Ed, we start the interview and he tells me that the position is for a permanent night shift, i asked if there was a day shift available, then Ed said, he wasn't going to interview me for the night position all, he didn't want to waste my experience, i thought great, get'er done.

So i left thinking that i'm maybe getting a day shift, awesome. Within a few day i get a call back, this time to see Leigh (Decent guy) He told me that i'm interviewing for a night shift, not happy, i explained the pervious interview with Ed (Something you need to know about Ed, he's a bullshit artist, he will till you exactly what you need to hear if it'll get what he wants) I then had no choice but to continue with the night shift.

Later in January i was told by Ed that as soon as a day shift comes up he'll give it to me, he even took me aside to till me this, February, i get a similar speech, March, April, May, In June he actually used the words "In 4 weeks i've have you on a permanent day shift" July rolled by and i'm getting pissed off, This is wen ti find out that some people have big mouths, apparently my aggravation was getting back to Ed, Every time i showed even the smallest hint that i wasn't happy he'd ask "Then why did you take the job, you know what you were getting in to", then i'd mention that he said he was interviewing me for a day shift, and that for the past 6 months he'd promised me a day shift and had thous far not delivered, and that i was unemployed in an economic fuck up and recession, he would always give me a funny look, not sure it was because i gave good answers to this stupid question or not but thats how i see it. Anyway he told me in July 2009 that i was not getting a day shift, because of my behaviour, 2 weeks later his friend is working the day shift, 2 weeks, it usually takes longer to advertise and interview for open positions with Burberry, hell it took this nearly a 1 year to replace the man i started with after he left, 1 fucking year, but in 2 weeks his mate has the day job i was promised. Ed your a cunt, After that i saw no reason to complain about it anymore, i just got on with my job, working with two "Contract" security guys, these guy were not Burberry staff, Jamie started later on, again a decent guy, i liked working with him.

Then, after two years of Night shifts, it all started to fall apart and i started to dose off in the control room, i was caught and sacked, rightly so, but the biggest sting was Ed after the first interview about this saying, "Don't stress out over it" i walked away saying, Yea sure i'm getting the sake he replied with "You don't know that yet" i laughed and walked home, after just arriving for that nights shift. One week later i'm talking to HR, they said after that there will be a meeting the day after to discuss what will happen, i said I already know whats going to happen, i'm under no illusions as to what is going to happen, thats why i've already started looking for work. And i was right, i knew i' was getting sacked the day they told me i fell asleep on the job, but big companies alway insist on "Proper procedures" JUST FUCKING TELL ME. It would seem i had a better insight into they operating procedures then they did. That was back in September of 2010, its now April 8th 2011 and i'm still unemployed.

Lesson learned, if you have a good thing, even if you don't like it, don't quit, just wait for something better to come along then quit.

Over the last 6 years i've came to the realisation that i really hate doing Security, but have wasted some much time doing it and nothing else that its all i'm qualified to do, and its a job i can't stand doing, i'm stuck in a place i hate with no gas to escape, the road is a loop, i'm driving around in circles anyway, so not having any gas isn't really a big deal, I'm looking for work in an industry i hate. Everyone these days wants Qualifications and years of experience. Companies don't want to waste money on training anymore. I have little choice right now.

At some point, i'll write what i'm going to try to do over then next few years. And it doesn't involve Security, rather something that i like to do and could and have spent 24 hours doing happily. Making films.

Back and Forth.

For one night only, the Foo Fighters doc/Film is being shown at a cinema near me. And i intend to be there.

The Foo's are now one of my all time favourite bands. But it wasn't always that way, there was a time i didn't like them at all. Its true..... seriously.

Back in the day i wasn't really into music at all, i kind just went with what my friends liked, what they thought was "Good" i later learned that good music is subjective and what is good for you isn't necessarily good for me. Back then most of the people i worked with were into Hip Hop and R&B so i listened to Hip Hop and R&B, most of my friends were into Pop and Drum and Bass, so i listened to Pop and Drum and Bass. I never really had my own musically identity. I never really listened to music because I liked it, i listened to it because people around me did.

Year went by, i'd cut mixed tapes with music cut from the "Now" compilation albums, popular music, mostly because i wanted to fit it. I even at one point bought a Tupac double album because the people i worked with like it. I didn't, but i made copies for them anyway, using the companies very expensive colour printer to copy the sleeve.

I'd sit at home on days off and watch MTV, but every time the Foo Fighters or any rock music came on i'd change to one of the many other music channels. I guess i did want to listen to Rock because no one i knew listened to it.

Then i heard 'Limp Bizkit',  yes yes i know. I bought there current (At the time) album 'Chocolate Starfish and hot dog favoured water' and liked it, I'd bought it because i heard one track, i forget now which one but i liked it and figured i'd like the album. That i guess is the start is my love for Rock music. After that the next album i bought was 'Nirvana' and compilation album released in 2002, after hearing this Limp Bizkit seem tame. I liked it, i figured i'd get to know this Nirvana band, that when i learned that Cobain had committed suicide 8 years earlier. Bullocks i thought, this is a great band and they are no more. I soon learned that Dave Grohl, the drummer for Nirvana started and was the lead vocal and guitar in a band i already knew but didn't like, the Foo Fighters. i figured if i liked Nirvana so much i must be missing something with the Foo Fighters. So i started listening to them as well, and now i fucking love them and have done ever since.

With Wasting light only 4 days away form release (I have it on iTunes pre-Order) i've been listening to it on there website for the last week, continuously everyday and i fucking love it. Produced in his (Grohl's) garage with analogue equipment, i personally think it sound fucking incredible. My fav track on it is White Limo

So, i'm looking forward to Back and Forth tonight. 147 minutes of Foo. A doc and after a live (Recorded on the 5th of April) performance of the new album 'Wasting LIght'.

[Later that day]

On track 10 of Wasting Light, 'I Should Have Know' it was rumoured that Grohl wrote this about Kurt Cobain, lets not forget the film premiered in cinemas across America on the 5th of April, the 17th anniversary of Kurt's death. And in the "Live" performance of the new album after the film, Grohl has the letter K taped to his guitar, could it be 'K' for Kurt? maybe, also Krist Novoselic (Of Nirvana if you didn't already know) plays some bass, i think it was the first time the Grohl and Novoselic have played together since Nirvana, or at least on a Foo's album.

So i'm home now and that was a great end to yet another good day, sun, good music, beer sun a walk, more sun FOO FIGHTERS BACK AND FORTH and i played Good Samaritan again to another old dude, this one called Carlos. Thats twice this year already. Dude i'll tell ya, i'm a good guy to have around if you find yourself on the floor or in the road and have no idea why or how you got there, i'll look after you keep you safe and call 999. I'm actually getting really good at this first aid shit, the other 3 people there thought i was a cop. Anyway, new vlog recorded just now embedded below.

[Edit]
Its Monday the 11th of April 01:30am and i just downloaded 'Wasting Light' the new Foo FIghters album from iTunes. There is a remix of 'Rope' by deadmau5, and new track called 'Better Off', the video for 'White Limo' and a live performance of 'Walk'. But then i've been listening to this album for over a week already, but i've had to do that from the website, pain in the ass, now it doesn't matter i can listen to it on the move.

[Edit]

So, after the Foo Fighters Film Back and Forth a live performance of Wasting Light came up, Dave and the guys playing the entire album, live. Recorded on the 5th of April. Notice the 'K' on Dave's guitar. And for your enjoyment its embedded below. Listen to it here or go to this video by clicking on it, give it a thumbs up and fav it.

Beautiful Day - Stella - Gym 6.2. [VLG Day 143]

The day was to beautiful to waste

Gym Week 6 day 2. Back and Bi-Ceps (Effing good session)

Sunshine in England should be captured for prosperity.

Flickr account photostream;
http://www.flickr.com/photos/50089713@N02/



My Channels;
http://www.youtube.com/FiskyJay
http://www.youtube.com/GrifterSixOne
http://www.youtube.com/FiskFilmLtd

And follow me here;
https://twitter.com/#!/FiskyJay

TODAY IN THE SOUTH EAST...

SUN SUN SUN

AND

Don't look at the SUN

Its such a beautiful day out today. And yes before you ask i have been outside in the sun.

The Sun is hot and there is a cool breeze in the air. I put out the garden furniture so i could sit out there and drink a cold beer (Note to self: Buy beer). I'm going to theGym later today but i don't have to leave for at least another 3 hours. I may go buy beer, then sit in the garden playing very loud rock music (With earphones) new neighbours, don't wonna piss them off.

So. At least we've had one decent day of spring here in the South East.

Ok now i'm going to the shop to buy a few beers then sit outside, drink them and talk to my camera like i'm some kind of mental patient (Nothing new really)

I'M A VLOGGER. ITS WHAT I DO.

Other blogs to come...

So, in this Blog i wrote earlier (HERE) i said that i couldn't remember any of the blog ideas i had last night (Monday) and i remember coming up with quite a few.

So all day i've not really been thinking about them, except in that blog i wrote earlier. And now more then 12 hours later i have managed to remember most of them, and have written them down so this time i don't really have an excuse for forgetting, unless i loose my note pad.

I found this note pad in one of my many man draws, it contains lots of notes i'd written years ago, actually its half filled, i had completely forgotten about it, hmmmmmm and wasn't even looking for it, i was looking for prompt cards instead and i find a thick note pad filled with forgotten ideas. I'm guessing there's a blog in there somewhere too. Hang on a sec..................... note made in the ex-lost note pad.

I'm not sure when i'll start writing these other blogs, maybe tomorrow but i might not post them until i'm happy with them. They might end up being pretty long so i want to make sure they are good, and i'll have to dive into my memory, which doesn't work to good, so a lot of thinking might be needed........... bare with me.

I have one on my past and current situation. Another which goes past that and to some place i want to be within the next few years. One about a girl and one about sleep oddness.

Gym week 6.1 [VLG Day 142]

Chest, Tri-ceps, Abs.


My Channels;
http://www.youtube.com/FiskyJay
http://www.youtube.com/GrifterSixOne
http://www.youtube.com/FiskFilmLtd

And follow me here;
https://twitter.com/#!/FiskyJay

Gym. Week 6.1 Tuesday.

First day back after the week off.

Seconds before pushing 2 20kg dumb bells

So i couldn't go yesterday, which was annoying but i had a great session today, Chest, Tri-ceps and Abs.

I pushed quite hard today, i meant to go easy but i felt so good in the first few reps that i just decided to go for it. Pretty much started where i left off before the rest period week off, last week.

Its a great gym, The Works Gym in high barnet, but we spent the first 30 minutes listening to reggae music, which just made we want to shoot someone, then after a moments silents the night club music came on. Personally i think its all shit, but as i don't run the place i have to put it out of my mind and just get on with my work out. I would just use my iPhone but i don't work out alone. My mate Lee is training me. And it would be rude to ignore him.

Back in the Gym tomorrow (Wednesday) for Back and Bi-ceps then Friday for Legs and shoulders.

#HeadTripper

Gym...

A friend of mine, a fella named Lee called by my place back in Feb, during my 'Get Fit Feb' phase. Get Fit Feb incidentally failed big time. Like George W Bush at a spelling bee. Anyway i hadn't seen this dude for some time, he used to live around the corner and we use to hang out all the time, but he's since moved on....

Playing: White Limo - Foo Fighters, Wasting Light (Website)

Last time i saw him he was, well, there really is no nice why to put it, he was a fat ass, ever since he got out of prison, yes and i'm not going to mention why he was in there, it was a wrong crowd kinda thing, but now he's like fit with muscles every where, he mentioned that he would train me, seeing as i was getting a little, flabby, saggy and generally unfit.

I'd been this way for awhile, having worked Security for 5 years, more on Security in another blog. But it does cause you to gain weight as its a very low motion job, lots of sitting around doing nothing. This then moved into my daily life i became more inactive and slowly the flab took hold and i was starting to get a belly. Being a lazy ass i couldn't be bothered to do anything about it at that point, i mean it wasn't that bad, just a little flab. Anyway this continued for years and thats what really started the Get Fit Feb phase, a notion that if i can get exercise for one month 'Feb 2011' i could maybe continues doing it, make it a daily habit..?

I started with raining, in order to build my stamina, i used an iPhone app called Couch to 5K, where you run for 1 minutes then walk for 90 seconds and basically repeat this for 20 minutes, three times for one week, then the times change a bit for the second week and so on until your running for 30 minutes straight. 

Yeah, that sounds great in theory on on paper or any other analogy you can think of that doesn't actually involve you doing any running, i found this very hard to do, but was determined to finish the month out, hoping that by the end of February  i'd be fit enough to continue, and not only that but i'd want to continue.

Anyway, during the second week i fell sick, only a cold but it laid me out so i took a break from the running, which i never did get back to, i guess i used the cold as an excuse to stop doing it. Yea i know i know... I probably didn't what to do it in the first place anyway right?

So later in February, my mate Lee appears, haven't seen this dude in awhile, and he looks healthy and fit, he said if i want to he'd train me. I said, sure that would be great, we talked for a few hours on this subject and i kinda just agreed with him with no real intention of taking him up on his offer, i mean i've been to Gym's before and hated it every time, i always felt really self conscious, like everyone is watching you.

A few days later, after our chat, i decided that if i want this flab gone i need to act. Someone once said to me "Shut the fuck up and just do it" so this time i listened. I called Lee and said, When can we get started, this was a Thursday i think. we started on Monday, i felt that i needed to start as soon as possible, cause i longer i wait, the more chance i'd have to back out.

Monday came and my first Gym session was great. This Gym, The Works Gym. isn't like the other Gym's i've been to, no spin classes, no Yoga, no Pilates. Just big ass heavy machines and maybe a few treadmills and cross trainers up stairs. And the guys that run it are Mixed Martial Artist. Cool.

So, on Mondays we do our chest and tri-cepts, and sometimes our abs

On Wednesdays we do our back and bi-cepts, and sometimes out abs

On Fridays we do our legs and shoulders

And we never do the same thing more then once every three weeks or so, to make sure our muscles don't adapt.

For the first 5 weeks at least one part of my body ached or was sore, but a good sore, after awhile it just felt good to ache a little, not sure what that says about me, if anything, but i felt good. Sometimes we'd push heavy weights with low reps other times we'd push lighter weight with more reps, other times even lighter weights but we'd do supersets, 3 or 4 exercises with no rest in-between, then rest for 90 seconds then do it again. We'd do that 3 or 4 times and by the end me muscles would be on fire. Then we'd go push a heavy weight with that muscles group, this would actually make those muscles feel better and not ache so much after. The soreness the day after and the day after that wasn't so bad after awhile.

This past week has been a rest period and tonight, supposed to be yesterday, but tonight we start up again and i'm looking forwards to getting stuck in again.

Ok, i'm done.

#HeadTripper

Other Blogs.......

Playing: Bridge Burning - Foo Fighters, Wasting Light (From website)

Hey everyone, who aren't reading this right now, because i just started doing this and no one really knows that i'm doing it. : /

So, i guess i should mention that i do have other Blogger accounts. And haven't really been updating those much lately. So why am i starting a whole new blogger blog?

The other blogger account was attached to the wrong Google account. Yes it really is that simple.

You see i started a blogger blog years ago, and still have those, yes those, plural, accounts. I may link it in the side bar --->

But as that blogger account was linked to my FiskFilmLtd youtube account, which i never really logged into very often, it was never open. I'm always using my FiskyJay youtube account and in order to use those other blogger accounts, i would have to log out of my fiskyjay Google account, log into my FiskFilmLtd account, just to write a blog, then go back to my fiskyjay account to use my main Youtube account. This go annoying so i stopped doing it.

My Fiskyjay account used an Alias eMail and my Fisk Film account used my original eMail address and instead of linking the older blogger account to the fiskyjay account i linked it, without really thinking to my original eMail address, which linked it to my Fisk Film account.

I hope that makes sense, because i got confused typing it.

Basically i didn't want to have to log out of my main Google account to write blogs no one was reading. There i said it, happy now.

So i started this new blogger account with my main google account, of cause i had to call it something different, read my first blog for details on name concept and meaning (HERE) this way it will always be open and i can write blogs as i think of a topic i want to write about....

Playing: Rope - Foo Fighters, Wasting Light (From website)

Yes i'm listening to the entire album, again, cause i love it, its great.

Anyway where was i..........?

Oh yeah. So with this blog being easier to access i can just write without fucking about with Google accounts.

This Google account linking bullshit has caused me such a headache, trust me i have 3 youtube accounts and google accounts, why we can't just link more then one youtube account to just a single Google account is beyond me, i guess it gives them some kind of control over users *shrug*

#HeadTripper